Core voice lines

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Here is a list of individual personality core voice lines.

Contents

  • 1 Portal
    • 1.1 Curiosity core
    • 1.2 Intelligence core
    • 1.3 Anger core
    • 1.4 Party Escort Bot
  • 2 Portal 2
    • 2.1 Space core
    • 2.2 Adventure core
      • 2.2.1 "Thorn" easter egg
      • 2.2.2 Unused dialog
    • 2.3 Fact core
  • 3 Poker Night

Portal

Curiosity core

Curiosity Core

  • "Who are you?"
  • "What is that?"
  • "Oh, what's that?"
  • "What's that?"
  • "What is THAT?"
  • "Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!"
  • "Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing."
  • "Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?"
  • "Where are we going?"
  • "Are you coming back?"
  • "Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!"
  • "What's that noise?"
  • "Is that a gun?"
  • "Do you smell something burning?" - If the core is taken near the open incinerator
  • "Where are we going?"
  • "Oh, what's in here?"
  • Curiosity core death scream (unused)

Intelligence core

Cake Core

  • "One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix."
  • "One can prepared coconut pecan frosting."
  • "Three slash four cup vegetable oil."
  • "Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips."
  • "Three slash four cups butter or margarine."
  • "One and two third cups granulated sugar."
  • "Two cups all purpose flower."
  • "Don't forget garnishes such as:"
  • "Fish shaped crackers."
  • "Fish shaped candies."
  • "Fish shaped solid waste."
  • "Fish shaped dirt."
  • "Fish shaped ethyl benzene."
  • "Pull and peel licorice."
  • "Fish shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment."
  • "Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish."
  • "One cup lemon juice."
  • "Alpha resins."
  • "Unsaturated polyester resin."
  • "Fiberglass surface resins."
  • "And volatile malted milk impoundments."
  • "Nine large egg yolks."
  • "Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes."
  • "One cup granulated sugar."
  • "An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'."
  • "Two cups rhubarb, sliced."
  • "Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb."
  • "One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb."
  • "One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb."
  • "Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire."
  • "One large rhubarb."
  • "One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb."
  • "Two tablespoons rhubarb juice."
  • "Adjustable aluminum head positioner."
  • "Slaughter electric needle injector."
  • "Cordless electric needle injector."
  • "Injector needle driver."
  • "Injector needle gun."
  • "Cranial caps."
  • "And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals."
  • "That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue."

Anger core

Anger Core

  • "*pant*" (unused)
  • "*snarl*"
  • "*gnash*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*snort*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*grunt*"
  • "*roar*"
  • "*roar*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*hiss*"
  • "*growl*"
  • "*roar*"
  • "*roar*"

If the core is taken near the open incinerator:

  • "*yipe*"
  • "*groan*" (unused)

Party Escort Bot

Party Escort Bot

  • "Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position."

Portal 2

Space core

Space Sphere

  • "What's your favorite thing about space? Mine is space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gotta go to space. Lady. Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oo. Oo. Oo. Lady. Oo. Lady. Oo. Let's go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space going to space can't wait." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space. Trial. Puttin' the system on trial. In space. Space system. On trial. Guilty. Of being in space! Going to space jail!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dad! I'm in space! [low-pitched 'space' voice] I'm proud of you, son. [normal voice] Dad, are you space? [low-pitched 'space' voice] Yes. Now we are a family again." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space space wanna go to space yes please space. Space space. Go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space space wanna go to space" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space space going to space oh boy" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh. Play it cool. Play it cool. Here come the space cops." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Help me, space cops. Space cops, help." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Going to space going there can't wait gotta go. Space. Going." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Better buy a telescope. Wanna see me. Buy a telescope. Gonna be in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm going to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh boy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yeah yeah yeah okay okay." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space. Space. Gonna go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space. Space. Go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yes. Please. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gonna be in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ohhhh, space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go to space. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "[humming]" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Let's go - let's go to space. Let's go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I love space. Love space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Atmosphere. Black holes. Astronauts. Nebulas. Jupiter. The Big Dipper." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Orbit. Space orbit. In my spacesuit." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ohhh, the Sun. I'm gonna meet the Sun. Oh no! What'll I say? 'Hi! Hi, Sun!' Oh, boy!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Look, an eclipse! No. Don't look." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Come here, space. I have a secret for you. No, come closer." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space space wanna go to space" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go to -- wanna go to space" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space wanna go wanna go to space wanna go to space" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm going to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey hey hey hey hey!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh I know! I know I know I know I know I know - let's go to space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lady. I love space. I know! Spell it! S P... AACE. Space. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I love space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey lady. Lady. I'm the best. I'm the best at space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh oh oh oh. Wait wait. Wait I know. I know. I know wait. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wait wait wait wait. I know I know I know. Lady wait. Wait. I know. Wait. Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gotta go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gonna be in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh oh oh ohohohoh oh. Gotta go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space. Space. Space. Space. Comets. Stars. Galaxies. Orion." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Are we in space yet? What's the hold-up? Gotta go to space. Gotta go to SPACE." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Going to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going. Going to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Love space. Need to go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space space space. Going. Going there. Okay. I love you, space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So much space. Need to see it all." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You are the farthest ever in space. Why me, space? Because you are the best. I'm the best at space? Yes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Please go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "(excited gasps)" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gotta go to space. Yeah. Gotta go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm. Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey lady. Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Lady." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Space? SPACE!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'm in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Where am I? Guess. Guess guess guess. I'm in space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "There's a star. There's another one. Star. Star star star. Star." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Getting bored of space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Bam! Bam bam bam! Take that, space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Are we in space?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "We are?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh oh oh. This is space! I'm in space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "We made it we made it we made it. Space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go to earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth wanna go to earth. Wanna go to earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go home." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home wanna go home." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Earth earth earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Don't like space. Don't like space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It's too big. Too big. Wanna go home. Wanna go to earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "SPAAACCCCCE!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "SPAAACE!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "YEEEHAAAAAW!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Ah!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Adventure core

Rick, the Adventure Sphere

  • "QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hey, hi pretty lady. My name's Rick. So, you out having a little adventure?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control? You know, because, looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hey, a countdown clock! Man, that is trouble. Situation's looking pretty ugly. For such a beautiful woman. If you don't mind me saying." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here, stand behind me. Yeah, just like that. Just like you're doing. Things are about to get real messy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Going for it yourself, huh? All right, angel. I'll do what I can to cover you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Doesn't bother me. I gotta say, the view's mighty nice from right here." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Man, that clock is moving fast. And you are beautiful. Always time to compliment a pretty lady. All right, back to work. Let's do this." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. Yeah, I'm a black belt. In pretty much everything. Karate. Larate. Jiu Jitsu. Kick punching. Belt making. Taekwondo... Bedroom." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I am a coiled spring right now. Tension and power. Just... I'm a muscle. Like a big arm muscle, punching through a brick wall, and it's hitting the wall so hard the arm is catching on fire. Oh yeah." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "I probably wouldn't have let things get this far, but you go ahead and do things your way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Tell ya what, why don't you put me down and I'll make a distraction." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All right. You create a distraction then, and I'll distract him from YOUR distraction." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All right, your funeral. Your beautiful-lady-corpse open casket funeral." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Do you have a gun? Because I should really have a gun. What is that thing you're holding?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "How about a knife, then? You keep the gun, I'll use a knife." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "No knife? That's fine. I know all about pressure points." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "So, when you kill that guy, do you have a cool line? You know, prepared? Tell you what: Lemme help you with that while you run around." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Okay, let's see. Cool line... He's... big. He's... just hangin' there. Okay. Yeah, all right, here we go: 'Hang around.' That might be too easy." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "'Hang ten?' That might work if there were ten of him. Do you think there might be nine more of this guy somewhere?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "All right, you know what, it's gonna be best if you can get him to say something first. It's just better if I have a set-up." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into the stone age." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Happy Explosion Day, gorgeous." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Get dirty with this robot! This robot owes you money! This robot owes! You! Money!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here, let me put on some adventure music." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! DUN DUN! Dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-DUN! DUN DUN! nananaDUNDUNDUN dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-action and adventure-dunna-dunna-na-dunna-na-playing by our own rules-nanana-hanging by our fingers from a mountain-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

"Thorn" easter egg

Unused dialog

  • "QUICK: WHAT'S THE SITUATION? Oh, hello angel. I guess I must have died and gone to heaven. Name's Rick. So, you out having yourself a little adventure?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Here's the plan: Get him to say, 'You two have been a thorn in my side long enough.' Then tell your pretty ears to stand back, because I am going to zing him into space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "'Yeah? Well this thorn... is about to take you down.' Oh yeah!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Okay, have it your way. What, are you fighting that guy? You got that under control there? Cuz it looks like there's a lot of stuff on fire..." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Kick him! Or punch him. You're the boss, dimples." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yeah! Nice!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You messed with the wrong woman!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Yeah! How'd you like that?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "How's that taste, pal?" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Keep it up, baby! You're creamin' him!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Duck and weave, duck and weave! Ohh, the sweet science." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You're doing great!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Come on, sweetie! He's got a glass jaw! He's got a glass everything! This guy's a china cabinet!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This ain't Marquis of Queensberry Rules, sweetie! Pour on the mustard!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Shake it off! Shake it off!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Pfff. I guess." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Pff. Whatever." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, shut up!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Nobody cares, four eyes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you had underwear? And a butt? I would pull your underwear... right up your butt." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Tell it to the bad guy. Maybe you'll make him so bored his brain'll explode." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You know who found that interesting? Nobody. That didn't affect anybody's life in any way whatsoever. Life would be exactly the same if you hadn't said anything." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You ever notice how nobody stops what they're doing to listen? We don't care." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh shut up!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "There's nothing in space! That's why it's space!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Oh, really? Space? Really? You should have said something! We had no idea!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You know what I hope's in space? Fire. I hope you go to space and catch on fire." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dammit, we know! Everybody knows! Space! You! In it! We get it!" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Fact core

Fact Sphere

  • "The situation you are in is very dangerous." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The likelihood of you dying within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The likelihood of you dying violently within the next five minutes is eighty-seven point six one percent." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You are about to get me killed." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "We will both die because of your negligence." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This is a bad plan. You will fail." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "He will most likely kill you, violently." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "He will most likely kill you." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You will be dead soon." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "This situation is hopeless." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You are going to die in this room." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You could stand to lose a few pounds." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is the most intelligent sphere." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is incredibly handsome." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is always right." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Space Sphere will never go to space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "You will never go into space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Fact: Space does not exist." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is a good sphere, with many friends." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Fact Sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens. Pens." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Error. Error. Error. File not found." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Error. Error. Error. Fact not found." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Fact not found." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Corruption at 25%" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Corruption at 50%" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Warning, sphere corruption at twenty-- rats cannot throw up." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dental floss has superb tensile strength." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The square root of rope is string." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "While the submarine is vastly superior to the boat in every way, over 97% of people still use boats for aquatic transportation." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The atomic weight of Germanium is seven two point six four." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Humans can survive underwater. But not for very long." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Raseph, the Semitic god of war and plague, had a gazelle growing out of his forehead." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Polymerase I polypeptide A is a human gene." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Rats cannot throw up." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Iguanas can stay underwater for twenty-eight point seven minutes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Human tapeworms can grow up to twenty-two point nine meters." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Every square inch of the human body has 32 million bacteria on it." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Sun is 330,330 times larger than Earth." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Volcano-ologists are experts in the study of volcanoes." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The moon orbits the Earth every 27.32 days." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The billionth digit of Pi is 9." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: one comes before two comes before 60 comes after 12 comes before six trillion comes after 504. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "A gallon of water weighs 8.34 pounds" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Hot water freezes quicker than cold water." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Honey does not spoil." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The average adult body contains half a pound of salt." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "A nanosecond lasts one billionth of a second." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "According to Norse legend, thunder god Thor's chariot was pulled across the sky by two goats." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Tungsten has the highest melting point of any metal, at 3,410 degrees Celsius." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Gently cleaning the tongue twice a day is the most effective way to fight bad breath." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Tariff Act of 1789, established to protect domestic manufacture, was the second statute ever enacted by the United States government." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The value of Pi is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The Mexican-American War ended in 1848 with the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In 1879, Sandford Fleming first proposed the adoption of worldwide standardized time zones at the Royal Canadian Institute." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, the treatment of radioactivity, and dying of radioactivity." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "At the end of The Seagull by Anton Chekhov, Konstantin kills himself." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize.'" | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play
  • "Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out." | Download Download | Play icon.png Play

Poker Night

  • The tournament is being controlled by aliens!
  • You can't send me back! She's planning things, man! Big things! Oh no, it's all true, even the caaaa...
  • Oh no, it's the puppet master! I know too much! Take me now before she uses her mind bullets!
  • At any given time, there are 17 people who keep reality from collapsing. They are all named Steve.
  • Every Claptrap unit has a small grey cube within its machinery. The purpose of these cubes is unknown.
  • There are carvings of Sam and Max embedded in Mayan calendars.
  • The Inventory's host claims to be retired, but he's actually been drawing maps to islands that don't exist yet.
  • How much do we know about this "Inventory," anyway?